Ben of www.benshotme.com takes on a Guinness review.

When asked if I would like to write a beer review, my mind immediately transformed into Homer Simpson’s. “D’oh, beer is good!” End of story.

I was really stumped right there, unable to move my mind forward from that initial reaction. Thought number 2 was that I had recently heard Sam Adams founder, Jim Koch, speak about his brewery. He waxed nostalgic about home brewing, his pursuit of perfect hops and the lemony flavors of a seasonal brew. Now, this man could write a beer review. My tongues experience of a beer is just not the same as Jim Koch’s. My beer palate is more of the garden variety and generally consists of two very discernible quantifiers…I like it or I do not like it.

Next up in the thought train was Guinness. It falls in the “like it” column and I wondered, “Does Guinness need someone to review it?” It’s dark, very dark. A good bartender will often draw a shamrock in the foamy crest of the pure white upside-down snow storm that tops the pint. A good pour takes several minutes and usually consists of three trips to the tap. And rumor has it that it tastes best in Ireland. I, for one, would agree with this assessment, but wonder if I only think this because I heard this before trying it in its homeland. None of these are really review points, they’re just observations that one makes in the pursuit of the perfect Guinness. So perhaps instead of a beer review, how about beer stories? And since we are already talking about Guinness, here’s a quick one.

I recently met a lad in his 20’s from Ireland, here on the Cape for business. To save him ridicule in his homeland I will keep his identity anonymous. While enjoying a Guinness he blurted out the following sentence. “I just discovered the stuff while visiting England last month.” How impossible does this sound to you? I could not believe my ears. Irishman claiming to have “discovered” Guinness well into his 20’s! In England! This was like hearing, “Pope finds new book! The bible!” Or hearing a tourist ask about the bridge to the Vineyard. Just plain absurd. Our young Irishman followed this with, “I just didn’t have the taste for it.” Well, ultimately his tongue’s credibility in general was put into question when the next day I witnessed him try his first peanut butter cup and exclaim that it was awful! D’oh.